


Monk's Pal Hal

by Konbini



Category: Monk (TV)
Genre: Adrian Monk Whump, Angst, Episode Tag, Leland misunderstands, Leland thinks Adrian is a minx on purpose, M/M, Mr. Monk makes a friend, s05e11, somewhat explicit language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:00:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25025821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Konbini/pseuds/Konbini
Summary: Leland finds himself - irrationally, exhaustively, comprehensively - bothered. It's partly about what Hal had said -I mean to you he's just some sort of crime solving machine, a robot that you wind up and point at a crime scene and let him do your job for you.Only it's more than that. It's Monk himself. Monk's reactiontoHal.Leland feels hard-done by.
Relationships: Adrian Monk/Leland Stottlemeyer
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	Monk's Pal Hal

That innocence. That intellect.

That 'please Leland won't you tell me I'm a good boy'.

Leland moons, he knows he does. He's always been weak for the damsels in distress. The soft voiced messes who find him hamfisted and aggressive. Like Karen. Still, he maybe doesn't realize it at first. The shape of it too strange.

But even he gets it after those humiliating moments where _Randy -_ even Randy! - raises an eyebrow at him. That's not even the main problem though. Even though it's still a problem - finding this out about himself, after all these years.

The main problem is that he doesn't realize he's being _beguiled_.

He might not ever have realized.

Except.

Except one day. It's a good day. Monk is happy and punch drunk from solving a case. Leland flirts - in that subtle way that he can later deny and Monk flirts back in his over the top abashed schoolgirl Doris Day - kinda way. His eyes slide away from Leland's gaze for a beat, his eyelashes flutter, and then he looks back. Soft smile through his eyelashes.

"Well, if it wasn't for you Captain." He says.

And Leland is always manhandling Monk - doesn't think twice despite the man's aversions. Always in anger, maybe, in exasperation. But he doesn't think about that as he puts a hand low on Adrian's back and guides him through the doorway.

He isn't expecting the full body flinch that accompanies it.

His hand drops like it's on fire.

Monk's gaze skitters away and Leland's heart drops. Monk doesn't look at him.

Monk doesn't look at him for a week afterward. A week in which Leland steadily plies for his attention, tries to be understanding, tries to be accommodating. He's tormented the entire time.

He only realizes how much of a fool he is when Randy smirks at him one day. When Randy meets Monk at the door and draws him in with a hand low on the man's back.

Monk's eyes crinkle, and he greets Randy with that smile.

That's Leland's smile.

Until, it's suddenly clear, that it's not.

He pulls back after that. It's not like they've regularly been in touch outside of work. It's not like this isn't a somewhat recent development - Leland flirting back. He tells himself he can recover from this.

Monk - with his stupid lack of social skills - probably doesn't know any better.

But it's obvious - so obvious - whatever cheques Monk's eyes are writing were never intended to be cashed.

Leland tries not to feel bitter and ill used.

Then _Hal_ happens.

Leland is still ruminating over the whole business of Monk's pal Hal a week later. He isn't sure why it's bothering him so much.

He feels conflicted. On one hand he feels vindicated - he just _knew_ no one could willingly befriend Monk without an ulterior motive. The man's a menace. Idiosyncrasies far outpacing what a normal person would be able to handle. 

On the other hand...he remembers Monk's face when they found them. He hardly seemed appropriately grateful to be interrupted. He looked...like he felt foolish for believing anyone could ever like him for himself. He looked like he knew they were all thinking it. And no surprise why - he'd very publicly been put in his place. It was the only reason Leland had been able to choke out the, 'Step away from my friend' that he might not have otherwise.

Leland feels a faint ache in his chest when he thinks of Monk's face.

When Monk had brought in the tickets - 3 pairs of them, places he'd wanted to go with Hal - Leland had expected that he'd be asking each one of them to go with him and he'd planned on saying no. It was petty maybe, but Leland couldn't stand the way Monk had mooned over the man and couldn't help the vicious surge of satisfaction that swelled in him knowing Monk had been - more or less - dumped.

That his simpering, coy act didn't work on everybody after all.

Only Monk didn't do what Leland expected. Instead he'd offered each of them a pair and somehow that made Leland angrier.

But he isn't as furious then as he is when he overhears Natalie and Monk's exchange afterward. Natalie, who's obviously the only one who took the bait and actually asked Monk to go with her. Leland secretly thinks she's a chump. Because wasn't that what Adrian had been gunning for?

"...Listen, can we invite Hal?" Monk asks timidly, "I mean if he makes bail."

Leland can still hear them from his office and he wants to slap Monk at the sheer audacity of the statement.

"Mr. Monk he tried to kill you." Natalie says firmly, fainter now.

"No friendship is perfect."

Monk's almost too quiet to hear when he says it. Leland's ears strain to hear Natalie's reply.

"Mr. Monk he murdered two people." Outraged, she's outraged.

"Alright," Monk relents pathetically, agitated and thus louder, "I'll sit between you. You don't even have to talk to him."

"No. Forget it."

At Natalie's final word Monk seems to change direction.

"Natalie I'm punking you." He says, and Leland doesn't believe it for a moment.

He wants to hear what's said next but they're too far away.

He goes to the women's volleyball with Monk's tickets, ends up taking his older brother Mark who's in town for a surprise visit.

They watch the lithe women, fast and athletic and works of art. Mark slaps him on the back and whistles lowly.

"How about that number Nine huh?"

"Yeah." He responds.

Monk wouldn't be enjoying this. The pleasing shapes and beauty of the women would be lost on him. Leland realizes with faint alarm that it seems to be catching. His eye isn't particularly caught by any of them.

He relaxes though when he sees number Eighteen. A Mediterranean women with big, dark brown eyes.

With some effort he pushes Monk from his thoughts.

It's half way through the game that it hits him just who she reminds him of and that ruins the day completely.

"H-How was the game?" Monk asks, "You know, the volleyball?"

"It was great Monk, thanks for asking." Leland replies and hope that's the end of it.

He turns away to indicate this and rolls his eyes in frustration when Monk continues anyway.

"Who did you go with?"

It's pathetic. And very Monk. Leland resents the insinuation - no the reminder - that he should have taken Monk.

"Why?" Leland asks sharply.

"No reason." Monk answers, "Just...you obviously didn't enjoy it."

"Now why would you say that?" Leland snaps.

There's no way he could know that.

"Well, they give you a stamp on your hand when you get in the door." Monk rattles out, a little shaken at Leland's aggression.

"And?" Leland asks.

"Um...well you scrubbed it off. It usually takes two or three days to fade." At Leland's continued stare Monk's words start to almost run together, "Last time you went to a cover band with the 'boys in blue' you didn't wash it off because you had a great time. Or the time before that when you and Randy -"

"Enough!" Leland shouts, then calms himself.

Monk didn't really do anything after all.

He should apologize or just say he's in a bad mood.

Instead he gruffly throws a file folder at Monk and starts reciting the details of the crime.

_When's the last time you hung out with him just to hang out? Or called him just to talk?  
_

It feels like Monk is torturing him for not being a good friend.

Leland is as good a friend as Monk is liable to ever get.

And okay, they don't spend time outside of work together. Even when Monk hasn't been consulted on any cases for longer periods of time, they don't talk. There's kind of a reason for that though.

 _To you he's just some sort of crime solving machine, a robot that you wind up and point at a crime scene._ Hal - damn him - had said.

Leland wonders how much of 'the act', as Leland has been calling it inside his mind, Monk pulled on Hal. It's apparent it had failed in the end.

Leland's maybe a bad friend. It's not like Monk can help it - right?

He shouldn't be avoiding him. Should be able to be a normal friend. Only it's different now. Leland's been disillusioned.

It's different too, from when he'd stayed at Monk's when his marriage fell apart - because that had been mostly all he could think about - Karen and the boys.

He could hardly spare a thought then for tragically dark eyes and bashful vulnerability just waiting to be taken advantage of.

_He's a great guy. He's odd and funny and brilliant - but you wouldn't know that._

The problem actually is, that Leland does _know_.

Leland remains unhappy and his and Monk's relationship remains contentious as of late.

He wonders if it's the implications Monk had made that make him unable to just let it go.

"Wait - wait I think I know what this is about." Monk had stated behind the two way glass, confident, "You guys are worried that I'm going to ask him to be my best friend. Don't worry please. Hal and I just met, we are no where near making that kind of commitment."

Commitment, like Hal was his fucking boyfriend. More dedication than Monk had showed in all their years of friendship.

And then the clincher,

"God, Leland. What kind of guy do you think I am?"

 _What kind of girl do you think I am?_ Like a prim librarian (Marion the Librarian Leland's brain supplies) or something. _I don't kiss on the first date._

Coquettish like the best kind of cock tease Leland had ever dreamed up.

It was impossible he didn't realize the implications of what he'd said, wasn't it? Could anyone really be that clueless? No, they couldn't - Monk especially. Leland _knew_ that.

After all this time.

Mocking. He was mocking Leland.

A double homicide.

"Look, Captain, whatever I've done..." Monk is trying to talk to him, has finally found him in a quiet spot.

Leland's been avoiding him all morning.

"You haven't done anything." Leland states shortly.

Monk, for once, is the one to look exasperated with _him_.

"Please, Captain - "

"Monk, you're here by request. That can easily change."

He feels like an asshole, saying the words. Especially at the way Monk's expression falls into abject misery. For a second Leland is worried he's going to cry. His eyes fill, certainly, but nothing spills over.

Instead he nods shortly to himself like he's confirming something.

It makes the bottom fall out of Leland's stomach, but he doesn't take the words back.

He's sure the waterworks are a manipulation and he hates himself for thinking of falling for them like he usually does.

Monk clears his throat. It's clear he's trying to sound authoritative but really he just sounds dejected.

"It's wasn't a homicide. It was a lover's suicide pact."

"Not this again." Is what Leland says when Randy brings in the file.

"Hey, it's not on me." Randy puts his hands up as if to say 'don't shoot!' "They sent it back with a request for additional information because the statements didn't agree."

"Who's statements didn't agree?" he asks gruffly.

"Guess."

"Randy, not now. Not today. Not ever."

Randy predictably pouts for a moment before perking up.

"It's Monk's."

"Monk? Monk's statement doesn't agree?" Leland can't believe it - and then, suddenly, incredulously - he _can_.

"I know. Monk! I couldn't believe it either."

When Leland speaks next he can't control the anger that leaks into voice such that even Randy rears back,

"Get him down here."

Leland should read through Hal's report, through Monk's, so he can get a sense of the details but he doesn't. He'd been on site, he'd known everything he'd needed to after Monk's summation. Or not. His hands shake in anger.

Monk arrives already perturbed so Leland figures Randy explained over the phone.

He approaches Leland's office like a hanged man approaching the gallows, but with an assistant in tow.

"I'd like to speak with you alone." Leland bites.

Monk looks at Natalie with intense desperation.

"Can Natalie stay?" He asks, but Leland isn't feeling too generous at the moment.

"No, she can't."

The blinds are already drawn.

"Come on Mr. Monk. I'll be just outside." She gives his arm a squeeze and Monk's hand reaches after her a moment but falls to his side after she closes the door.

"What is this." Leland says tightly, thumping the written statements down onto the desk.

Monk flinches at the noise.

"Leland I can explain."

"Oh I think you better."

Monk cautiously approaches the desk, reaches for Hal's statement before Leland slaps his hand down.

"I haven't read it." Monk states, "I don't know what his statement says."

"That's right, you don't. And you won't. Because you're compromised." Leland accuses.

"I'm not...compromised." Monk says, serious and earnest, "I just...omitted some unimportant details."

Leland wonders if it's just because Monk got lost in the game - his 'please love me' act - or if he genuinely fell for Hal.

"Why?" Leland asks.

He's aware he should be asking 'what details?' but his rage - and jealousy, that's what it is, jealousy - are driving the conversation.

"I...I didn't want you to know." Monk says, unable to look at him, twitching this way and that uncomfortably.

It's more consideration than he's given Leland before.

And maybe that's why the words are so damning.

"Didn't want me to know, huh?" Leland sneers at Monk's dismay. "Like I couldn't see just how affected you were when you wanted to meet up with him directly after he might make bail?"

He hadn't made bail, Leland had made sure of that.

Adrian's eyebrows furrow in confusion, but he's still composed. Leland hates it.

"What would Trudy think about that?" Leland spits, immediately regretting it.

He shouldn't have said it. Shouldn't have brought Trudy into it, however right it feels. Because Adrian's face crumples immediately and there are tears.

"I-I _know-_ " Monk's voice cracks, and Leland's heart follows despite himself, "-know as much as anyone that she would be disappointed in me for giving the gun back to him...but I...but I...I'm lonely Leland, there's no crime in that."

_giving the gun back to him_

Leland's hit by a second of vertigo, where he just doesn't _understand_. He comes back to himself just in time to catch the tail end of what Adrian's saying.

"...but none of those things would have made a difference in his conviction. I'm sure he told just to..." Adrian makes a noise of distress that liquefies Leland's insides, "drive home the fact that I will never have friends."

 _That's_ what Adrian is worried about? Not having friends?

Leland seizes the file, flips it open and scans page after page until he gets to the right one. Adrian moves to gets up but then promptly drops back down at Leland's growled,

"Sit. Down."

He reads the file. Leland feels like he's seeing in double.

Hal had said cruel things once Monk was no longer any use to him. Then, in clever Monk fashion, he'd had gotten the gun from Hal. Then...then, despite knowing, Monk had returned the gun in exchange for the barest hint of affection. For a scrap of friendship.

This isn't...a failed seduction on Monk's part. Or the work of someone who even knows what they're doing. No - this isn't sexual at all. This is the desperation of a man unloved. Touch-starved and vulnerable.

It's increasingly obvious that Monk is the seductee, and that Hal had managed it through just a little extra friendly attention and care. A pittance.

Leland's head spins.

Leland blinks and his lashes come back wet.

If that's true, that Monk can be that blind, then it only follows that he's been blind to Leland too.

Leland inwardly curses himself. Of course Monk isn't mocking him by fanning his dark lashes at him. He isn't teasing him with his pained _help me please_ countenance that never fails to stir Leland.

His strange innocence isn't an act.

Leland abruptly feels a little nauseous.

"Captain?" Monk asks unsurely, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Damn right it won't." Leland mutters, voice uneven.

He'll do anything in his power to keep Monk and Hal apart.

"I'll never omit details that...could be important again." Monk swears softly, eyes solemn and sad.

"You'll never give a man a gun to use against you again." Leland says hotly instead, ire starting to raise.

His misconceptions were deep. The truth casts such a different light.

For a moment Monk doesn't respond.

"...okay." He finally says with a small, soft smile.

He's touched that Leland cares - Leland can see it clearly now. And it's the barest amount of care - not wanting him dead - and Adrian is acting like it's a wondrous concession and Leland can't take it.

He reaches out and pulls Adrian halfway across his desk, deaf to his yelp, and buries his face in Adrian's collar. He knows the grasp is too tight but he can't make himself let go.

"We are friends Adrian." Leland speaks quietly, "Do I have to say it more?"

"uh no. No, Captain, I got it." Adrian says shakily.

He _keens_ when Leland pulls even tighter. Shivers at Leland's breath ghosting his throat. He loses his balance and falls more heavily across Leland's desk, knocking things out of the way.

Randy comes in and Leland reluctantly lets go.

"Huh." Randy says.

Monk spins around, knocking even more off the desk. His face is red.

He stutters before turning again, beginning to haphazardly put things to rights. It's all disordered though, not anything like how it was - not anything like how he'd usually sort it.

"You giving out hugs now Monk?" Randy smirks.

"uh-um-" Monk stutters.

"You're blushing." Randy says, smiling widely.

"Monk. Stop." Leland says and goes to settle him with his own hand. Monk flinches back, goes the reddest Leland has ever seen him.

"I'll come back later."

"Randy!" Leland admonishes but the other man is already gone, closing the door behind him.

Leland and Monk are alone once again.

Monk won't look at him, is avoiding it.

"Y-you know..." Monk says, voice jittery, "When I was courting Trudy...I'd get - kind of - uh-um-that is. I know...that you don't...but - and I'm sorry - and I'm sure it'll...go away."

It's a moment of sudden realization for Leland.

Like lightning striking.

"Eventually." Monk's voice cracks painfully.

He looks like he's about to be sick, which makes Leland startle.

Monk flinches back. Monk does look at him then. Big, sad brown eyes.

"Sorry." He says again, "Sorry."

"Adrian." Leland says firmly, because he's afraid Adrian is going to get stuck on repeat.

He comes around the desk and Adrian rears back.

He reaches out, cautiously, and Adrian stills - eyes slamming shut. Leland carefully and firmly brings a hand to the small of Adrian's back.

Adrian jolts but he doesn't move away.

"Nervous?" Leland chuckles, a little breathless.

It's a quite moment.

Leland reminds himself that Monk doesn't like change.

"A-a-a little." he stutters.

"Don't be nervous." Leland says, even though he knows it's futile.

Monk does open his eyes then, looks up at Leland with those same innocent come-hither eyes. He isn't meaning to do it. He doesn't know what he looks like.

Leland should have been man enough to make the first move. His heart warms at the thought that it was Monk to do it. Even if he was a sad mess, prematurely rejecting himself. Not unlike Leland had done, and isn't that the kicker?

"I'm sorry Adrian." Leland admits stoically because it's the only way he knows how, "I haven't been a very good friend."

"That's...that's not true."

"Yes it is."

Thankfully Adrian doesn't fight him on it.

Adrian hadn't even felt entitled to call him a friend. And that makes something in Leland's chest tighten. From Monk's perspective Leland has been just this side of cruel. Leland's heart aches when he thinks of Adrian handing Hal the gun. It's probably something that's going to be haunting him for a while. 

"But...you know," Leland continues, now blatantly lying, "I'm a better boyfriend."

Adrian looks at him with that expression that says he recognizes the lie but doesn't want to be rude by calling it. It's so sweet and silly, so Adrian.

"Don't worry." Leland says, "I don't expect you to take my word for it."

Adrian's face heats impossibly more when he catches the implication. His eyes snap to Leland's.

"Let me take you to lunch." Leland says quietly, as if a hush has fallen in the room.

"I...I separate my food." tumbles out of Adrian's mouth, "I might send the cutlery back. Or the water glasses."

Adrian waits in suspense for his reply. It's a test, one Leland is not going to fail.

"Don't worry, I know just the place."

Later, it turns out, Monk does kiss on the first date.

And it's perfect.


End file.
